Kathryn Casey

Jul 27, 2012 7:52 AM EDT

Well said KC. I completely agree.

- Pattie Mc.

Jul 27, 2012 10:45 AM EDT

In her book titled, The Phantom Stranger, Ted Bundy's long-time fiance, "Liz Kendall" (fictitious name) wrote that in the fall of 1973 Ted asked her if they could try bondage. She agreed but after three times she told him she didn't like it and they never did it again.

- Beverly Ann Fournier

Jul 27, 2012 11:58 AM EDT

I totally agree, Kathryn. I am also concerned that the book will normalize S & M for our young people, like the media has done for casual sex. By the way, I am no prude and enjoy sexy scenes as much as anyone, so that is not an issue for me.

- Penny Sansbury

Jul 27, 2012 1:24 PM EDT

Very informative blog. I read the trilogy and loved it, but also knew the difference between reality and fantasy. The relationship between Christian and Ana was definitely in the fantasy zone, and not something that I would think of really happening in real life. I can see someone who is young and impressionable using this as some sort of guide to finding a knight in shining armor, only to find a nightmare. Christian Grey is neither hero or abuser....he is merely the figment of someone's imagination and should not be the basis of what someone is looking for in real life.

- Sibby

Jul 27, 2012 2:31 PM EDT

Completely agree....I felt like Ana was a pathetic moron of a girl...can't even say woman. And yes, the dark side of Christian Grey would have been a more interesting psychological read than the naive sex fiend Ana was.

- Ec

Aug 16, 2012 6:06 AM EDT

Excellent articles in both Forbes and here at your blog. Personally I hated the BDSM in FSoG, and do not understand why women would find domination, pain and humiliation sexually arousing. What I fear about Fifty Shades is that it will tend to mainstream BDSM, and I have mentioned this fear in my review of the book on my blog and conversations at Goodreads. I usually get the pooh-poohed reaction that I am being condescending, that women are smart enough to know the difference between fact and fantasy. I agree most women are, but not all women. And men? Hmmm. Should one trust male aggression? Add some alcohol and a riding crop into the mix and well, your mileage may vary. As you say:

"I’m concerned that women and men will go looking for their own Christian Grey, envisioning a romantic hero, and not be prepared for what they find."

In my mind a walk down the path of female submission, is a walk up the path of male aggression and all parties may be in for a surprise.

The argument that FSoG is a fantasy of course has merit. But let's consider this statement from 50 Ways To Play:

"If you or your partner answered "no" to any of these questions, you're not alone. Many couples feel that sex has lost its erotic impact and, if you're one of them, it's time to add a few kinky weapons to your after-dark arsenal. Actually, forget "a few" and add lots of them. Moderation is for sexual puritans. There are fifty thrills and chills in this book, boldly borrowed from the world of BDSM- Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism. These edgy ideas are guaranteed to get the juices flowing and the nerves firing like never before. And despite their deviant reputation, they are essential elements of a healthy sex life, even for nice people like you."

Macleod, Don; Macleod, Debra (2012-06-29). 50 Ways to Play: BDSM for Nice People (Kindle Locations 96-100). Penguin Group. Kindle Edition.

Did I read that correctly: "they are essential elements of a healthy sex life, even for nice people like you." Essential elements! Really?

This is a 112 page guide to BDSM for "nice people" who are bored with the sex lives. It almost comes off with an attitude that "if you want to save your marriage..." A couple can safely learn BDSM with a 112 page guide? These relationship experts have written several other how to sex guides. This book come off to me as a rushed to published BDSM-ized version of vanilla guide to cash in on the FSoG mania.

http://www.amazon.com/50-Ways-Play-BDSM-People/dp/0399163468/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

I have read that FSoG is Twilight fan fiction. Well the really nice thing about Twilight, no matter how hard you try, you just are not going to find a sexy vampire to bite you. Physical abuse? Oh much easier to find.

Indeed most people can read this stuff and play around with it and it is nothing but a little harmless kink. But as you have indicated in your article there is an overwhelming body of evidence that some people can't.

- hsextant & Henry Le Nav